Wednesday, August 12, 2009

MENUNGGANG KERBAU


“Pada suatu waktu hiduplah seorang anak gembala di sebuah dusun kecil. Ia bernama Diri. Dibesarkan dalam lingkungan gembala, pada usia dua belas tahun ia tergerak untuk mencari seekor kerbau liar, seperti tradisi di desa itu. Maka berangkatlah Diri untuk mencari kerbau.

Sesampainya di sebuah padang Diri mulai mengamati keadaan sekitar, mempelajari padang itu. Dilihatnya di kejauhan sana di sekitar padang rumput itu terbentang hutan, bukit, sungai, serta rawa-rawa. Setelah ia cukup paham akan situasi sekitar padang itu, ia mulai mengarahkan perhatiannya untuk mencari tanda-tanda kehadiran seekor kerbau. Berhari-hari ia berjalan mengelilingi padang itu, sampai akhirnya di dekat rawa-rawa dalam perjalanan menuju ke hutan, dilihatnya jejak-jejak kerbau.

Diri merasa gembira mengamati jejak itu. Ia duduk dan mengamat-amati jejak itu. Seolah-olah ia sudah menemukan si kerbau. Berjam-jam ia tinggal dalam kegembiraan itu, namun pikiran sehat dan suara hatinya menyadarkan dia bahwa yang ia lihat hanyalah jejak yang menunjukkan kehadiran si kerbau dan bukan kerbau itu sendiri.

Maka bangkitlah Diri untuk mengikuti arah jejak kerbau itu, ternyata jejak-jejak itu mengarah ke hutan yang lebat. Terbersit ketakutan dalam hati Diri, selama hidupnya ia tak pernah memasuki hutan, kini ia harus masuk ke hutan itu untuk menemukan si kerbau yang didambakannya dan sudah ia lihat jejak-jejaknya. Diri menetapkan hatinya untuk berani memasuki hutan itu sendirian, hanya berbekal jejak-jejak kerbau itu. Mulailah ia melangkahkan kakinya untuk memasuki hutan itu.

Hutan perawan itu amat lembab, dedaunan pohon begitu lebat sehingga menghalangi sinar matahari untuk dengan penuh memasuki hutan. Di atas pohon-pohon ia lihat bergelantungan ular-ular dan kera-kera. Serangga-serangga aneh berkeriapan di lantai tanah hutan itu. Teriakan serak gagak-gagak menambah seram keadaan hutan. Namun hati Diri sudah tetap, ia mengarahkan diri pada jejak-jejak itu, sambil tetap waspada dan berjaga agar ia tidak mendekat ke ular-ular dan dipagut oleh mereka. Juga ia menghindari monyet-monyet cerdik yang seringkali mengacaukan arah jalannya mengikuti jejak-jejak kerbau itu. Serangga-serangga kecil juga dilewatinya dengan penuh kehati-hatian, meskipun mereka kecil, namun jika mereka menyerangnya dalam jumlah besar maka bisanya akan dapat mematikan. Hutan lebat itu dijalani dengan tabah oleh Diri.

Setelah berhari-hari ia menjelajahi hutan di lihatnya di depan sana tepi hutan, dan didengarnya suara lenguhan seekor kerbau, sedangkan jejak yang dilihatnya makin jelas. Berbunga-bungalah hati Diri. Ia berlari ke arah tepi hutan. Di sana, di kaki bukit dilihatnya seekor kerbau sedang merumput dengan santainya. Hatinya semakin tetap dan didorong oleh keberaniannya ia mendekati kerbau liar itu.

Semakin dekat si kerbau tampak ramah. Diri merasa senang, ia berpikir tak lama lagi ia akan mendapatkan kerbau itu. Semakin dekat kerbau itu melihatnya dan tetap diam di sana. Diri semakin mendekat, mengulurkan tangannya untuk mengelus kerbau itu. Si kerbau diam menikmati elusan tangan Diri. Ia berkata pada kerbau itu, “Kau kini milikku kerbau sayang, kau milikku. Namamu sekarang si Kiki.” Diri mulai menjadi lebih berani, ia memegang leher kerbau itu, untuk menunggangi kerbau itu. Merasakan tangan Diri terlalu kuat mencekik lehernya, si kerbau liar itu segera menyepak-nyepak dan melontarkan Diri dari punggungnya. Diri berjuang keras untuk dapat tetap dapat menaiki kerbau itu. Ia semakin mencekik leher kerbau itu dengan rangkulannya yang semakin ketat. Si kerbau makin liar menyentak, dan terlontarlah Diri ke tanah. Sedangkan kerbau itu berlari menjauh, jauh sekali, menghilang di antara pepohonan di bawah kaki bukit sana, meninggalkan Diri terkapar di tanah, sendirian.

Diri terkejut, ia berpikir bahwa si kerbau sudah berhasil dimilikinya, namun kenyataannya pahit, kini ia kehilangan kerbau itu. Terduduklah Diri di lantai tanah, merenungi kegagalannya. Ia ingin memiliki kerbau itu, tapi kerbau itu berkelit dan menghilang. Setelah merenung beberapa saat ia tahu bahwa ia tidak boleh tergesa-gesa. Ia harus bersabar. Maka bangkitlah lagi Diri untuk mencari kerbau itu.

“Kiki....kiki.....kiki.....!” dipanggilnya nama si kerbau itu terus menerus sampai habis suaranya. Berminggu-minggu ia tak menemukan kerbau itu. Ia putus asa, rasa ingin memiliki kerbau itu kini sudah hilang. Ia ingin kembali ke kampung halamannya saja. Sebelum pulang, ia ingin menikmati suasana indah sekitar kaki bukit dan tepi hutan itu. Ia potong rerumputan dan diletakkan didekatnya, ia ingin meninggalkan makanan untuk si kerbau, sebelum ia pergi meninggalkannya untuk selamanya. Ia sudah tak mengingini kerbau itu.

Angin semilir, keindahan alam, dan keheningan sekitar membuat Diri tertidur sambil bersandar pada sebuah pohon besar. Setelah beberapa saat, turunlah sore hari, dirasakannya ada sesuatu yang membasahi mukanya, ia membuka mata dan ia sangat terkejut, ternyata si kerbaulah yang menjilati mukanya untuk membangunkan dia dari tidur.

Betapa gembiranya Diri melihat kerbau itu kembali padanya, saat dia tak menginginkannya lagi. Kerbau itu malah makan dengan lahap rerumputan yang dipotongnya, dan kemudian berbaring di sisinya. Diri heran melihat sikap kerbau itu, namun kemudian yang mengejutkan lagi, kerbau itu meletakkan kepalanya dipangkuan Diri dan setelah beberapa saat ia tertidur. Diri mengelus kepala kerbau itu. Kegembiraannya meluap tiada terkira. Ia mendapatkan kerbau itu kala ia tidak ingin mendapatkannya. Kegembiraan itu membuatnya tertidur pula, amat lelap, bersama si kerbau.

Malam telah berlalu dan fajar menyingsinglah sudah. Diri terbangun oleh sapuan sinar matahari pagi dan juga Kiki, si kerbau. Setelah keduanya memakan bebuahan hutan, mereka membasuh diri dalam air kolam alami kecil di dekat hutan. Setelah keduanya segar, Diri mengajak Kiki untuk pergi ke kampung halamannya dan berjalan bersama. Ternyata Kiki menundukkan diri, seolah berkata, “Naikilah aku.” Diri tak percaya apa yang dilihatnya. Pelan-pelan ia mulai menaiki punggung Kiki. Setelah Diri menetapkan posisi duduknya, bangkitlah Kiki dan mulai berjalan. Betapa gembiranya Diri! Kini ia dapat menaiki kerbau itu tanpa usahanya! Kerbau itu mengajaknya berjalan naik terus naik ke puncak bukit. Ayunan langkah si kerbau, udara pagi, bebauan bunga-bunga liar, dan suara siulan burung-burung membuat Diri serasa di surga. Sesampainya di atas bukit ia melihat desanya, pasar di sekitarnya, dan pemandangan alam yang luar biasa indah. Kerbau itu membawanya ke tempat yang ia tak bayangkan sebelumnya.

Melihat desa dan pasar di sekitarnya serta orang-orangnya yang sibuk bekerja, timbullah cinta Diri pada keluarga dan orang-orang yang dilihatnya dari kejauhan itu. Ia mengajak Kiki untuk turun gunung. Kiki menurut. Maka Diri menuruni gunung, sambil menunggangi Kiki, terus ia menuju ke pasar menunggangi si kerbau. Ia akan dapat berbuat banyak untuk membantu kerja keluarga dan teman-temanya dengan kekuatan kerbau yang sedang ditungganginya. Ia membawa kerbau itu pada mereka. Ia dapat mengajarkan pada mereka yang mau mendengarkan kisah hidupnya, bagaimana mendapatkan si kerbau, tanpa ingin memilikinya. Ia tahu ini dengan pasti, karena ia mengalaminya dalam jatuh dan bangunnya.

Diri telah kembali ke kampung dan ke pasar, namun kini ia kembali dengan menunggang kerbau!”

Mengertikah Anda arti kisah ini? Renungkan!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

He is Risen


"But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they came to the tomb, taking the spices that they had prepared.
They found the stone rolled away from the tomb,
but when they went in, they did not find the body.
While they were perplexed about this, suddenly two men in dazzling clothes stood beside them.
The women were terrified and bowed their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen.
Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee,
that the Son of Man must be handed over to sinners, and be crucified, and on the third day rise again" (Lk 24:1-7)

Friday, April 10, 2009

God is Dead


"From noon on, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon.
And about three o'clock Jesus cried with a loud voice,
"Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?"
that is, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
When some of the bystanders heard it,
they said, "This man is calling for Elijah."
At once one of them ran and got a sponge, filled it with sour wine,
put it on a stick, and gave it to him to drink.
But the others said, "Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him."
Then Jesus cried again with a loud voice and breathed his last" (Mt 27:45-50).

Thursday, April 9, 2009

In the Last Supper


"When the hour came, he took his place at the table, and the apostles with him.
He said to them, "I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer;
for I tell you, I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God."
Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks he said, "Take this and divide it among yourselves;
for I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes."
Then he took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me."
And he did the same with the cup after supper, saying, "This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood" (Lk 21:14-20).

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

F.A.S.T.I.N.G.


Here are some sayings from the desert fathers on fasting.

A leader of a community asked Abba Poemen: "How can I gain the fear of God?" Abba Poemen replied: "How indeed can we gain the fear of God when we have bellies full of cheese and jars of salted fish?" Abba Poemen thus teaches us that the ultimate goal of fasting is to help lead us, or to open us, to the fear of God.

Another old man came to see one of the Fathers, who cooked a few lentils and said to him: "Let us say a few prayers," and the first completed the whole Psalter, and the brother recited the two great prophets by heart. When morning came, the visitor went away, and they forgot the food. Fasting here witnesses that the true nourishment of Christians is prayer and meditation on the word of God, not the eating of food.

A brother was hungry early in the morning, and he fought his desire so as not to eat before the third hour. When the third hour came, he forced himself to wait until the sixth hour. At that time he broke his loaves and sat down to eat, then stood up again, saying to himself: "Now wait until the ninth hour." At the ninth hour he said the prayer and saw the power of the devil like smoke rising from his manual work, and his hunger vanished.

It was said of an old man that one day he wanted a small fig. Taking one, he held it up in front of his eyes, and not being overcome by his desire, he repented, reproaching himself for even having had this wish. Fasting in both of these cases is the spiritual effort which establishes the spirit over the flesh.

Abba Joseph asked Abba Poemen: "How should we fast?" And Abba Poemen said: "I myself think it's good to eat every day a little at a time so as not to get full." Abba Joseph said: "Well, when you were young, didn't you used to fast for two days at a time?" And the old man said: "Believe me, indeed I did, for three days, and even a week. But the great elders tried all of this, and found that it is good to eat every day a little less each time. In this way, they showed us the royal highway, for it is light and easy." Abba Poemen teaches us that we should be careful not to undertake efforts too great for us. This gives the proper perspective in relation to the efforts praised in selections 3 and 4 above. It is better to make slow and steady progress with moderate efforts than to become discouraged or to miss the goal altogether with efforts too great for us.

Once two brothers went to visit an old man. It was not the old man's habit, however, to eat every day. When he saw the brothers, he welcomed them with joy, and said: "Fasting has its own reward, but if you eat for the sake of love, you satisfy two commandments, for you give up your own will and also fulfill the commandment to refresh others."

A brother said to an old man: "There are two brothers. One of them stays in his cell quietly, fasting for six days at a time, and imposing on himself a good deal of discipline, and the other serves the sick. Which one of them is more acceptable to God?" The old man replied: "Even if the brother who fasts six days were to hang himself up by the nose, he could not equal the one who serves the sick." Here we learn that love is above fasting, that we must not presume to put our fasting above "the more excellent way," the "new commandment" to love one another.

There was a man who was leading an ascetic life and not eating bread. He went to visit an old man. It happened that pilgrims also dropped by, and the old man fixed a modest meal for them. When they sat together to eat, the brother who was fasting picked up a single soaked pea and chewed it. When they arose from the table, the old man took the brother aside and said: "Brother, when you go to visit somewhere, do not display your way of life, but if you want to keep to it, stay in your cell and never come out." He accepted what the old man said, and after that behaved like the others whenever he met with them. We are reminded here that fasting must be done in secret, not before others, as the Lord has said: "But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; that thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly." --Mat 6:17-18

It was said about an old man that he endured seventy weeks of fasting, eating only once a week. He asked God about certain words in the Holy Scripture, but God did not answer him. Then he said to himself: "Look, I have put in this much effort, but I haven't made any progress. So now I will go to see my brother and ask him." And when he had gone out, closed the door and started off, an angel of the Lord was sent to him, and said: "Seventy weeks of fasting have not brought you near to God. But now that you are humbled enough to go to your brother, I have been sent to you to reveal the meaning of the words." Then the angel explained the meaning which the old man was seeking, and went away. Along with fasting there must be humility! Fasting opens the way; it is a means to an end; it is not the end itself.

I myself once harshly judged a monk whom I saw drinking milk during the Great Fast. He did it so routinely that I thought, "Why, he must think nothing of the ascetic life." It was I who had forgotten the rule of the inner life -- that one judges himself and excuses others. I later learned that the monk was ill and had to have milk to ingest his medication. I learned something about hasty judgments. Here we learn that we must never judge another person.

Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said: "Abba, as much as I am able I practice a small rule, a little fasting, some prayer and meditation, and remain quiet, and as much as possible I keep my thought clean. What else should I do?" Then the old man stood up and stretched out his hands toward heaven, and his fingers became like ten torches of flame. And he said: "If you wish, you can become all flame." We must never be shortsighted about the goal of our Christian life with all its efforts. It is nothing less than theosis, union with the Living God, becoming "all flame."

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Stabat Mater Dolorosa


Brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ,

During Lent, we routinely attend the liturgy of the Station of the Cross, and emotionally we sing the “Stabat Mater Dolorosa” hymn. But actually I myself feel uneasy and scared to sing this hymn, since this hymn, which also is a prayer, deals with the great suffering of Mary at the foot of the cross.

If we read the Gospel of John 19:16-27 carefully, we will understand that Jesus gave his mother to us, the Church as our mother, but he did not give us the glorious mother, but the suffering mother. And it is said that the Church, symbolized as “his beloved disciple” accept her in his house. Many theologians preach on the motherhood of Mary in the Church from this passage, but they forget that Christ gave his suffering mother to us.

Brothers and sisters, that pericope of the Gospel reminds us that we have Mary as the suffering Mother. She stood at the foot of the cross, full of tears, watched her son died hang on the cross, the Latin hymn writes: stabat Mater dolorosa, iuxta crucem lacrimosa, dum pendebat fillius. She experienced the great horror, which even the apostles could not endure and flee from. She watched with her own eyes the dead of the Son of God, in the nastiest way of dying on the cross. She asked whether he was the Son of God, and if he was the Son of God why did he die that way? She suffered a lot, as Simeon in the Temple of Jerusalem had prophesied it, a sword pierced her heart deeply. And at the foot of the Cross, she experienced the darkest faith ever. However, the Gospel does not say that she collapsed or run away from that suffering, but she kept standing at the foot of the cross (stabat Mater..), as if she prayed: “Thy will be done, Thy will be done,” although she did not understand it, since she experienced great suffering and the darkest night of her faith. Brothers and sisters, she is the woman of suffering, whom we called mother.

What does this Gospel teach us? It teaches us the value of suffering. In this world that rejects suffering, it is very difficult to talk about suffering, perhaps then we could be marked as masochist or suffer mania. I would like to talk about one aspect of the mystery of suffering, which still is a great mystery.

By suffering we are wounded. This wound is important, since by this wound can be changed to healing, in other words we are called to take part in the suffering of Christ in the cross as Mary has done, in order that we become the wounded healers. The true healer is the wounded healer. How can this be?

Just imagine, if we never experience hunger, we will never have compassion with the hungry. We will just read the paper while sipping our warm milk coffee, and eating our English muffin with ham. And we just comment, “Ah… poor Asian, they should work harder. And pray more that the Kingdom of God come soon on them.” If we never experience the difficulties in family’s life, we will easily say to the troublesome couple, “Hey, Canon Law says that marriage cannot be separated, go home and meditate on this law of the Church.” If we never get wounded, we never understand the pain.

But if we are wounded, we could understand the pain of the others, then we know what is the meaning of compassion, that is, be in the same passion with the other. Then we know what is the meaning of emphaty, that is, to enter and dwell in the pathos of the other. Being a wounded healer does not mean being a person who exhibits their passion and say, “Hey you know, I have experienced the same thing.” No, being a wounded healer means that we are enabled by our own suffering to walk and to strengthen our fellows in walking in the path of the Cross. Remember St. Paul: cry with the one who cry….

Brothers and sisters, remember what the author of the letter to the Hebrews has said that we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness and suffering, since he has suffered a lot on the cross, and so his mother Mary. That is why he and his mother really understands our suffering.

Let us pray that we, by taking part of the suffering of the cross and by following his mother, can be the wounded healers.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Angels



Ponder this:

"All the angels differ in species according to the diverse degrees of intellectual nature." (Summa Theologica I, Q. 50, art. 4)

Then shout: "How great Thou art!"

Saturday, February 7, 2009

My New Book


"Berkobar-kobar bagi Allah" (Ardent for God) is my new book. It's my fourth book. Praise to God that I could finish it! This book is an introduction to the Carmelite spirituality. This ancient yet always up-dated spirituality has contributed much to the Church and world. In this book I outline some fundamental points of the Carmelite spirituality, namely, contemplation, brotherhood, and ministry. I also introduce the early but constitutive Carmelite history, religious vows and their relation to the daily lives, and in the end I present Mary as our mother and sister.

This book will be available at Karmelindo Publication - Indonesia by July 2009.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

WHO AM I?


"Who am I?" is a question that always keeps me in the path of humility. It is a very fundamental question for me to know myself well, and therefore to know God well. Knowing who I am and who God is makes me humbled. Then, from this weak and sinful lips of mine come out these simple words, "How great is our God!"

This song by Casting Crowns reminds me again and again who I am and who God is. I'd like to share it with you. Ponder on its lyrics and listen to the song. Praise and worship Him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT7x3VnrqbA

WHO AM I?

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Roh Kebenaran dan Hidup


“Berilah kami dengan perantaraan Roh Kudus kebijaksanaan sejati, serta karunia untuk selalu bergembira atas penghiburanNya. Demi Kristus Tuhan kami.”(Doa Veni Sancte Spiritus)

Kutipan Injil Luk 12: 8-12 tentang dosa menghujat Roh Kudus ini banyak menjadi bahan diskusi. Orang banyak mempertentangkan dosa ini tidak dapat diampuni ini dengan Allah yang adalah Maha Pengampun, dan tak ada dosa yang tidak terampuni (mis. Yes 1:18, 43: 25, Rom 5: 20). Tentu kita bertanya di sini mengapa dosa menghujat Roh Kudus ini tidak akan diampuni? Pilih kasihkah Allah?

Masalahnya di sini bukan dari pihak Allah, namun dari pihak manusia. Allah selalu dan selalu menawarkan belas kasih dan pengampunanNya. Allah itu Sang Maha Pengasih. Hanya saja dosa yang dilakukan manusia di sini adalah dosa penghujatan (Y. blasphemein). Menghujat berarti tidak mau menghormati, mengejek, menolak, dan mengutuk. Dosa ini berat, apa lagi yang dihujat adalah Allah dalam Roh KudusNya. Dalam menghujat orang tetap bersikukuh (keras kepala) pada sikapnya yang terus-menerus menolak Allah. Menghujat bukan saja terjadi dengan mulut, tetapi juga dengan hati dan perbuatan.

Roh Kudus adalah Roh yang memberi hidup (Ayb 33:4, Yoh 4:10, Credo panjang) dan Roh Kebenaran (Yoh 15:26, Rom 14:17). Jika orang menghujat Roh Kudus berarti dia menolak Sang Pemberi Hidup itu sendiri, Sang Sumber Kekuatan. Orang yang menolak kehidupan adalah orang yang mati. Orang ini mati dalam hidupnya. Hidupnya sudah tidak bermakna lagi. Ia menolak keberadaannya sendiri! Maka bagaikan robot-robot tak bernyawa, dia akan hidup tanpa arah, dan kemudian dia akan menjadi penyebar budaya kematian dan menjangkiti orang lain dengan nafas kematian. Orang ini menolak untuk diselamatkan hidupnya. Bagaimana orang dapat diampuni dosanya, jika dia bersikeras memilih untuk mati dalam hidupnya?

Si penghujat juga bersikeras menolak kebenaran. Padahal untuk menyembah Allah, kita harus menyembahnya dalam roh dan kebenaran (Yoh 4: 23). Ini berarti kita juga mesti hidup dalam kebenaran untuk dapat memaknai hidup ita dengan limpah. Orang Kristiani diundang untuk menjadi pewarta Sabda Kebenaran. Namun jika dia menolak Roh Kebenaran, bagaimanakah dia dapat mewartakan kebenaran? Apakah orang yang tidak mempunyai kebenaran dapat mewartakan kebenaran? Lebih parahnya lagi, mereka yang menolak dan tetap bersikeras menolak kebenaran akan beraliansi dengan si pendusta dan bapa dari segala dusta (Yoh 8: 44).

Sudahkah kita sungguh sadar akan peranan Roh Kudus yang amat penting bagi kehidupan kita sebagai manusia dan sebagai umat beriman? Sudahkah kita membuka diri kita akan kuasa Roh Kebenaran dan membiarkan Ia hidup dengan melimpah dalam diri kita? Marilah kita teladan Bunda Maria, sang Mempelai Roh Kudus yang selalu hidup dalam pimpinan Roh.